The Social Exclusion Life Pattern has to do with feeling isolated from the rest of the world. You may feel different from others, specifically, you most likely felt socially undesirable, and as an adult, you may feel that you are ugly, unattractive, boring, fat, etc. You reenact your childhood rejection - you both feel and act inferior in social situations. You avoid socializing in groups and tend to immerse yourself in work, family or solitary hobbies/activities.
The primary feeling is loneliness. You feel excluded from the rest of the world because you feel either undesirable or different. These are the two types of social exclusion. Of course, they often come mixed together, and you may well have both. Those who feel undesirable, often feel inferior in social situations, and consequently, experience a great deal of social anxiety. The feeling of exclusion is because of surface qualities. Something about the way you present yourself does not feel good enough.
Social exclusion has many faces. You may be the person everyone teases or bullies. Or you may be the one who is an outsider – the loner or social outcast. You stay on the sidelines, not quite a member of any club or group. Or you may be someone whose Life Pattern is largely invisible. It is hard to spot. You go through the motions of social interchange, but inside you feel alone.
Whatever your type, you are probably prone to a whole range of psychosomatic symptoms. Loneliness is often linked to heart and stomach problems, sleep problems, headaches, and depression.
These are some of the reasons you may have felt undesirable or different as a child:
1. You felt inferior to other children, because of some observable quality (e.g., looks, height, stuttering). You were teased, rejected, or humiliated by other children.
2. Your family was different from neighbors and people around you.
3. You felt different from other children, even within your own family.
4. You were passive as a child; you did what was expected, but you never developed strong interests or preferences of your own. Now you feel you have nothing to offer in a conversation.
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