Where you are right now, where you're holding emotionally, spiritually, physically, and what's gone on and is going on, they ways you're getting triggered – are for a reason. There's a purpose to it: something to learn and gain and grow, by embracing that what is and isn't for you right now, is as it is.
Wishing and wanting it to be different won't make it that way. Plus, it pushes you to avoid accepting and embracing what is, and fully facing and working with it.
So many times we get stuck wishing and wanting something was different, or we had done something different in the past. Don't fall into that. It distracts you from facing the current reality which is as it is, and for a reason. Which is what? That we face it, work through it, and grow. And if it was meant to be different, because somehow that would be better for the YOU of today, then it would be different.
"Acceptance" here doesn't mean you like it.
Rather, that there's a reason for it, and the possible change comes from facing it and making some different decisions, taking some actions, here in the here and now, that are informed by the past experiences. In that way, the future you will transform from the YOU of today.