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  • Writer's picture Zalman Nelson - Therapist

Abandonment in Relationships

Updated: Dec 28, 2023

life pattern abandonment in relationships

A Text Therapy client recently asked me about the impact of abandonment on her relationships and struggles. "I keep abandoning myself in relationships but I’m not sure how to make it stop. I overgive because I’m terrified of abandonment, but the catch-22 is I’m abandoning myself right???"

Great question. Very real and common, and many people struggle with it. Always wows me how we can feel more empowered and safe and secure and welcomed to be real, authentic, and honest in Text Therapy, and get to the core issues.

Here's what I shared:

"Right! people treat us the way we treat ourselves. and we treat ourselves in the way we say our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, etc. treat us. Try to make some time each day to do the very opposite of abandoning yourself: being there for yourself. ask, wonder, be curious about "what am I feeling?"

Or, contemplate a moment during the day when you were triggered and ask "what was I feeling?" Use a feelings chart if you want to help yourself tune in and really name the feelings. In that way, you pay yourself – your Inner Child – attention; tuning into her and sending her the message that she's valued and worth your time.

Then, as you notice her feelings, without judgment, you give her a sense of unconditional acceptance. That she's valid and worthy: worthy of your time to stop what you're doing for a few moments and tune into her, hear her, listen and understand, and be accepting. As you practice a bit each day of being present and not abandoning yourself, you'll be more and more attracted to, and attracting, types that are solid and reliable, not looking to abandon you, and ready to commit to you and stick with you."

Do you often find yourself abandoning yourself?

#lifepatterns #innerchild #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #emotionaltriggers #emotionalvalidation #abandonment #relationships --- Click here for a consultation with me, where we will review your triggers and emotional needs and show you the road map for success. Join my email list and get great emotional healing content like this in your inbox.

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