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  • Writer's picture Zalman Nelson - Therapist

Don't Do This in Your Relationships

Updated: Feb 9

Healthy Relationship Works

Here's a common mistake many make in relationships. It's an unhealthy way in which people tend to enter relationships: they lose themselves in the other person and the relationship.

They let go of friends and family. They stop doing the things they enjoy. They stop doing things on their own or with other friends.

Listen: that’s not how a healthy relationship works.

Instead, continue to be yourself, your own person, even as you connect with someone else. Yes, at times, you sacrifice or don’t do something, in order to spend time together, doing things for the benefit of the couple/friendship. But never always.

And even in those times when you step aside for what your friend or partner wants or says, it's ok because you’ve still first shared your view and thoughts on the subject.

Here's the general rule: in a relationship, each person is responsible for bringing themselves into the relationship – self-awareness of needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings, with a willingness to share it in a hearable way; and then leave space for the other to share themselves as you listen.


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