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  • Writer's picture Zalman Nelson - Therapist

Forget Emotional Validation

Updated: Feb 9


Forget Emotional Validation

Forget emotional validation! Let go of the desperate need for the validation of others! That's right. Here's what you do instead: validate yourself. And then...you'll really be able to connect to people.


Locked into Emotional Validation Seeking

When we’re locked into seeking emotional validation in order to feel good, feel ok, and feel allowed to feel what we feel, it’s so hard to really hear people, share and connect. We’re too desperately locked into getting validated.


But as you grow and work on that, learning to emotionally validate yourself, and connect to and support your Inner Child, you take that desperate emotional validation seeking off the table. It's then that you're freed of emotional over-reactivity, and for the first time, truly able to tune into others.


Ever notice how you can be all wrapped up in what you feel and think, and what you want to say, while you're busy talking to a friend? Exactly.


What Happens When You Validate Yourself?

As you emotionally validate, accept, and hear yourself, you – and your Inner Child – become secure in the knowledge that you also get to have an opinion and feel what you feel. You'll be clear that hearing another person can't snuff you out or block your right to feel and express yourself. You also get a turn.


Hear and be heard.



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