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Therapy Services
Online Therapy Via Video and Phone Sessions 

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Inner Child Healing &
Emotional Validation

Zalman is a Teacher and Guide for Inner Child healing.
He's the creator of The Trigger Method for

transforming emotional triggers

 

Heal your Inner Child and strengthen your sense of

Emotional Validation using emotional triggers.  Build an

entirely new emotional relationship with yourself, and

watch all the other relationships in your life transform.

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How to heal emotionally?

Self-awareness, insight, and getting to know yourself

Emotional healing requires self-awareness, insight, and getting to know ourselves, rather than avoiding and running from it. After all, you can’t fix something until you know what it is and that it’s not working. At the heart of our emotional struggles, is a lack of connection with our own voice, instincts, and feelings. Truly, deep down we know what’s best for us, what we feel and need, and how to be ourselves, but we don’t know that voice, and are unpracticed at hearing it. We’re out of touch with what we truly think, feel, need, and want, addicted instead to external validation, clinging to false beliefs of self, and subservient to the views and outlooks of others. And it’s no wonder: there’s a natural bias all around us in favor of displaying positive emotions, which leads to pressure to seem happy no matter what. And that then backfires and makes us less happy. It’s living a lie, and it hurts and robs us of emotional well-being and successful relationships.

Be There For Yourself

"Break in," go into yourself

Only by breaking out – which is really “breaking in,” going into ourselves – can we heal and become emotionally skilled. We have to learn to trust ourselves and build a relationship with ourselves, by practicing allowing ourselves to get to know what we feel and name it, explore it, and connect with it intimately. The healing begins the moment we swivel from avoiding self, ignoring our Inner Child, and focusing on others and everything around us, to tuning into ourselves first and foremost and developing our ability to be there for ourselves emotionally. It’s the opposite of abandoning ourselves and our feelings, perpetuating the experience of abandonment so many of us have known in life. It's emotionally validating ourselves. Our experiences in youth and throughout the school years deliver to us a deeply embedded Inner Child sense of self until we one day learn to stop, tune in, and get to know it. We all have the ability to be there for ourselves emotionally and provide the emotional needs we’ve long gone without, but we never learned practically how to do it. Someday, it will be a solid part of school curriculum, and some efforts are already underway to make that so.

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From Victim to Ownership

Things happen for me

Emotional intelligence is also about transitioning from being a victim to taking ownership and responsibility – that “things happen for me” instead of “things happen to me.” It’s the only way to sit with triggered emotions and get to know them, or use mistakes to increase our self-awareness and do more of what works and less of what doesn’t. And we take responsibility and exercise control over what’s in our power by being there for our emotions: naming, noticing, connecting with, allowing, and accept what we feel. That’s an action. Just as when a friend opens up to us about their emotional turmoil, what they need is for us is to hear and understand; giving advice or fixing the situation is not essential.

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