Most Therapy Starts With the Wrong Question
Most therapy starts with how do you feel.
That’s actually the wrong question.
Not because feelings don’t matter. Because most of us have spent years learning to override them, explain them away, or convince ourselves we’re fine. By the time someone asks how do you feel the honest answer is buried under three layers of coping.
But the body doesn’t lie.
When your chest tightens in a meeting. When your jaw clenches on a phone call. When your stomach drops before a conversation you’ve been avoiding. That’s not anxiety. That’s not weakness. That’s information.
Think of it like the fuel light on your dashboard.
When it comes on you don’t ignore it. You don’t tell yourself the car is being dramatic. You don’t wait until Thursday to deal with it. You pull over. You pay attention. Because the car is telling you something true.
Your nervous system works the same way. Every physical sensation in a difficult moment is your system saying something needs attention here. Not later. Now.
This is where I start with every client. Not with their history. Not with their childhood. Not with how they feel about their mother. With the body. With what’s happening right now in this moment.
And what I’ve found over 15 years of clinical work, and 7 years of delivering it through daily messaging, is that this entry point works for everyone. Even the people who have resisted therapy for years. Even the people who think talking about feelings is pointless. Even the people who have tried therapy before and felt like nothing changed.
Because nobody taught them to read the dashboard.
Once you know how to read it everything else follows. The feelings become clearer. The patterns become visible. The reactions that used to hijack you start to make sense. And when things make sense they start to shift.
That’s the work. And it starts with one question.
Where do you feel it in your body right now?
Try it once today. Something small bothers you. Before you explain it or fix it or push through it. Just stop and ask yourself where you feel it. Tight. Heavy. Buzzing. Hollow. Anything.
And if you want to know what happens next, hit reply and tell me what you found. I read every response personally.
Or if you’re ready to go deeper, the first week is free.
Does any of this resonate with you? Hit reply and tell me.