When Anxiety Is Actually a Message
Why learning to listen to it changes everything
Imagine this.
You’re walking through your day and suddenly your chest tightens, your breath shortens, your mind races. Anxiety hits.
Most people’s instinct is to escape it. Distract. Push through. Medicate.
But what if the anxiety itself isn’t the problem?
What if it’s a message? A bid for your attention from a part of you that’s been waiting a very long time to be heard?
Two Possible Roots of Anxiety
Anxiety usually grows from one (or both) of these places:
Lack of internal safety
The nervous system is stuck in “on guard” mode. It’s as if your mind is scanning for threats 24/7, bracing for something to go wrong. You never feel fully safe or relaxed.Unmet emotional needs
Inside you is a younger part of yourself: a boy or girl who didn’t get the comfort, presence, or reassurance they needed. When their emotions rise, you’ve learned to avoid them, suppress them, or run from them. What you label as “anxiety” is often this part trying to get your attention.
This is why anxiety feels so overwhelming. It’s not just a random surge of adrenaline. It’s you, split in two: a younger part asking for help, and an adult part either distracted or unavailable.
The Check Engine Light
Think of anxiety like the “check engine” light in a car.
When it comes on, most people panic or try to turn it off. But the light isn’t the issue. It’s a signal telling you something underneath needs your attention.
Your inner child uses anxiety as that signal. Because historically, that was the only way to get someone to pay attention.
The moment you start to view anxiety this way, everything shifts.
Instead of seeing it as an enemy, you see it as a conversation starter.
A New Response: Breathe, Name, Listen
Here’s where your adult self comes in. When anxiety shows up, rather than reacting automatically, you can:
Pause and breathe.
Even three slow, deep breaths can change your blood chemistry and lower your heart rate. A simple physiological sigh (deep inhale, short top-up inhale, long slow exhale) works wonders.Tune into your body.
Where do you feel the anxiety? Chest? Stomach? Shoulders? Just noticing the physical sensations begins to ground you in the present moment.Name the feelings underneath.
Often, anxiety is covering sadness, fear, shame, or loneliness. By naming the real emotions, you give your inner child the acknowledgment they’ve been needing.Offer presence, not fixes.
Your job isn’t to make the feelings disappear. It’s to show up. Just like a good parent sitting with their child who’s upset…not lecturing, not dismissing, simply being there.
Why Most Approaches Fail
Many people treat anxiety like a fire alarm they need to silence. They use distraction, medication, or endless coping hacks to push it away. But if you never open the hood and check what’s going on underneath, the alarm keeps ringing.
This is why AI tools or self-help content alone can’t heal anxiety. They can give you knowledge, even a few good exercises, but they can’t offer real-time human presence and guidance.
And that’s exactly what this inner work requires: a relationship between your adult self and your inner child. Between your conscious awareness and your emotional reality.
Consistency Builds Safety
Just like working out at the gym builds muscle, consistently responding to anxiety in this way builds emotional strength.
Each time you pause, breathe, and listen, you send a powerful message to that younger part inside:
“I’m here for you now. You’re not alone anymore.”
Do it once, and it’s meaningful.
Do it daily, and it rewires your entire sense of self.
Real-Time Support Changes the Game
If you’ve tried to do this work alone, you probably know how hard it can be to stay consistent. Emotions rise at unpredictable times. Life doesn’t wait for your Thursday 4 PM session.
That’s why I created the Telegram Emotional Support Group.
For just $1/day, you’ll get:
📲 Daily emotional prompts to help you tune in
💬 Real-time interaction with me and the group
🎥 Weekly live Q&As for deeper guidance
📝 Weekly summaries to track your growth
The group is already underway, and people are growing, healing, and changing every day. It’s real support, in real time — accessible and powerful.
Because healing doesn’t happen once a week.
It happens in the small moments you choose to show up for yourself.