When Someone You Love Leaves You Out
It’s not just about the concert—it’s about the part of you that still longs to be chosen
You ever have one of those moments where something small sends you spiraling?
You know you shouldn’t be so upset.
You tell yourself, “It’s not a big deal.”
But your heart’s racing, your thoughts are spinning, and you feel like you’re six years old again—completely unimportant, completely unseen.
That’s what happened to someone who wrote in recently.
The Situation
Her partner got invited to a concert by his daughter, son-in-law, and the son-in-law’s father.
He told her he wanted to go—he loves the music and hopes she understands.
Here’s what happened inside her:
She felt hurt and excluded
She felt like an afterthought
Her anxiety spiked
She felt torn—emotionally and logistically
And she wondered: “Am I overreacting?”
She even recognized, with real insight, “I know these are old feelings. I’m re-reading your Trigger book.”
And that right there?
That’s the beginning of healing.
It’s Not Just About the Plan—It’s About the Pattern
When we feel triggered, it’s usually not because of what’s happening on the surface.
It’s because something deeper has been touched.
In this case, his communication struck a raw nerve: ➡️ The part of her that still longs to feel chosen.
➡️ The part that’s tired of being left out.
➡️ The part that grew up feeling like an afterthought.
That part—her Inner Child—wasn’t reacting to this one concert.
She was reacting to years of emotional experiences that looked and felt the same.
You’re Not Overreacting—You’re Overremembering
When your nervous system floods and your emotions spike, it's not about being dramatic or unreasonable.
It’s about being in touch with old pain—the kind that never really got resolved.
The real question isn’t, “Why am I so upset about this?”
It’s:
➡️ “What does this remind me of?”
➡️ “What part of me still needs to be seen?”
That’s what the trigger is for—not to torment you, but to show you where healing still needs to happen.
So What Do You Do?
Start by checking in with two parts of yourself:
The part that is hurt and angry right now
And the younger part of you—the Inner Child—who still longs to feel important, prioritized, and included
You don’t have to choose between them.
You can hold space for both.
Then, if and when you feel ready, you can speak to your partner from that awareness.
Not to guilt them.
Not to demand they choose you every time.
But to share your experience with honesty and clarity:
“When you told me about the concert, something in the way you shared it left me feeling like I wasn’t considered. I know this touches an old wound for me, but I still want you to understand how it felt.”
You Deserve to Feel Chosen
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not “overreacting.”
You’re being given information—from within.
When your feelings speak up like this, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because something inside you is finally ready to be heard.
And when you choose to listen…
When you stop dismissing your own experience…
When you turn toward your Inner Child with compassion instead of shame…
That’s when everything starts to change.
Final Thoughts
Emotional pain is real.
Even when the situation seems small.
Especially when it mirrors something old and unresolved.
So next time you're spiraling, try asking:
“What’s this really about?”
“What memory or belief is being reactivated here?”
“What does my Inner Child need from me right now?”
The answer might surprise you—and free you.
Your Turn
🧠 Have you ever felt like an afterthought in a relationship?
💬 Reply and share—what helped you move through it?
📩 Want more insight like this? Subscribe for weekly posts about emotional triggers, inner healing, and relationship clarity.
🚀 Need personal support navigating a situation like this? Check out my messaging therapy options here.