I got interested in spirituality and my circle shrank. First, I got rid of some bad friends. Then I lost some people who I later realised were not really friends. Especially the stupid Facebook taught me that some friends are not your friends. I now have a few good and close friends that have been with me for many years and I've made some new friends that are good people. At one point, I had too many friends. I'm glad I don't have so many people in my life anymore.
What you describe walking through is the whole arc of that piece. It starts feeling like loss and ends as clarity. When your inner life starts to matter more, the outer circle reorganizes itself around that. Some people leave because they were never really there for you, just for the version of you that was easier to be around. What you have now is smaller, but it's load-bearing. That's actually worth a lot more.
My story may seem sad. But it's not. Everything is impermanent, even relations. Being popular is okay, but who gets to know the real me? Now I can give more of myself to the people I care about, instead of having superficial connections that are only for fun.
I guess I’m thinking about younger days, when I had I had lots of friends. Now I’m older and people spread out all over the world. I’m thankful for the relations I had, but I notice that they will disappear.
There's real wisdom in that. Most people spend their whole lives being known by many and understood by almost no one. What you're describing with being able to give the real you to a smaller circle isn't a consolation prize. That's the thing people are actually looking for. And "I'm not lonely"? That's the whole thing right there. Solitude and loneliness aren't the same. You clearly know the difference.
I got interested in spirituality and my circle shrank. First, I got rid of some bad friends. Then I lost some people who I later realised were not really friends. Especially the stupid Facebook taught me that some friends are not your friends. I now have a few good and close friends that have been with me for many years and I've made some new friends that are good people. At one point, I had too many friends. I'm glad I don't have so many people in my life anymore.
What you describe walking through is the whole arc of that piece. It starts feeling like loss and ends as clarity. When your inner life starts to matter more, the outer circle reorganizes itself around that. Some people leave because they were never really there for you, just for the version of you that was easier to be around. What you have now is smaller, but it's load-bearing. That's actually worth a lot more.
My story may seem sad. But it's not. Everything is impermanent, even relations. Being popular is okay, but who gets to know the real me? Now I can give more of myself to the people I care about, instead of having superficial connections that are only for fun.
I guess I’m thinking about younger days, when I had I had lots of friends. Now I’m older and people spread out all over the world. I’m thankful for the relations I had, but I notice that they will disappear.
I’m not lonely.
There's real wisdom in that. Most people spend their whole lives being known by many and understood by almost no one. What you're describing with being able to give the real you to a smaller circle isn't a consolation prize. That's the thing people are actually looking for. And "I'm not lonely"? That's the whole thing right there. Solitude and loneliness aren't the same. You clearly know the difference.