Your Triggers Are a Signal, Not a Flaw
It’s common to view our emotional triggers as a personal failing. We feel ashamed when we shut down or frustrated when a small comment makes us feel like a vulnerable child again. We treat these reactions like an internal enemy we need to defeat.
But there is a different way to look at it: Your triggers are data, not defects.
They are signals from the “Inner Kid,” the part of you that didn’t get what it needed during a difficult time in the past. That part of you isn’t trying to sabotage your life; it’s using the only tools it has to ask for safety.
Building the Internal Partnership
Think of your growth as a collaboration between two distinct parts of yourself:
The Inner Kid: Holds your raw emotions, your history, and your deepest vulnerabilities.
The Adult Self: Holds your logic, your current values, and your capacity to protect yourself.
Most of us have these two parts living in separate rooms, never speaking to one another. When the Inner Kid gets scared, they take over the steering wheel, and the Adult Self gets pushed to the backseat.
Healing happens when these two parts finally start working as a team. When you stop abandoning yourself during a trigger and instead use your Adult Self to offer comfort to that younger part, the “autopilot” reactions begin to fade.
Why This Changes Everything
When you strengthen the connection between your current self and your history, you build a foundation of internal security. 1. Boundaries become clearer because you know exactly what you’re protecting. 2. Relationships get healthier because you stop asking partners to fix old wounds they didn’t create. 3. Confidence grows because you know that no matter what happens, you won’t turn against yourself.
Real progress isn’t about silencing the child within you; it’s about becoming the parent that child always deserved.
A Moment for Reflection: Think of the last time you felt “triggered.” If you could step back into that moment as your Adult Self, what would you say to the part of you that was hurting?
Does the idea of being a “team” with yourself feel like a relief, or does it feel a bit overwhelming to be the one in charge of that comfort?