Start Tiny, Stay Steady: Why Consistency Beats Intensity Every Time
I recently read a note from another writer here on Substack that hit me right in the gut. They were reflecting on how hard it is to start a new practice. How meditation, in particular, felt totally unnatural, like it just wasn’t in their wiring. I’ve heard this so many times in my own work with clients. I’ve felt it myself. It’s real. And it’s exactly why I wanted to write this.
Because here’s the truth: Most of us don’t quit because we’re lazy. We quit because we start with goals that are too big, too intense…and then we crash.
We say we’ll meditate for 30 minutes a day… and never even start.
We promise to stop people-pleasing overnight… and feel like a failure the first time we slip up.
When the bar is too high, we don’t feel challenged, we feel defeated.
The Power of Lowering the Bar
In my work and my own life I’ve learned that transformation doesn’t come from force. It comes from consistency. And to build that consistency, you have to lower the bar. Sometimes so low it feels laughable.
That’s what I tell clients: Lower the bar until it feels impossible to fail. That’s the sweet spot.
The Glass of Water That Changed Everything
One of my clients had been stuck for months. Low self-esteem. Constant guilt. Every time we discussed practicing emotional tools or building confidence, he’d agree in theory—but never follow through.
He kept telling himself the same story: “I just can’t stick to anything.”
So I gave him a new challenge: Drink one glass of water per day.
He laughed. “That’s it?”
“That’s it,” I said. “No extra effort. Just that.”
He tried it. And when he came back a week later, something had shifted. It wasn’t just hydration, he was standing straighter. Speaking more confidently. His face had more life.
He had proven to himself that he could follow through. He had succeeded. And that tiny success started to rewire what he believed was possible.
Consistency Is the Point, Not Perfection
If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of trying, failing, and judging yourself…
Try this:
Meditate for 10 seconds.
Pause before replying to a text.
Write one sentence in your journal.
That’s it.
You don’t need to do it for 30 minutes or journal three pages.
BUT you do need to show up consistently and build the muscle of trust with yourself.
You Don’t Need More Force. You Need More Reps.
And that’s what real growth looks like: not giant breakthroughs, but small reps over time. Reps that add up. Reps that stick.
So if you’ve been stuck thinking you need more willpower…
Start tiny.
Stay steady.
And watch everything shift.
Want Help Building the Emotional Strength You Were Never Taught?
This is exactly what I help people do through messaging-based therapy and emotional strength training.
No hour-long sessions you have to cram into your week. Just real-time support, feedback, and guidance as you practice showing up differently.
If you’re tired of repeating the same patterns and want something that actually sticks, this is where you start.
Let’s go.
–Zalman
Great, simple advice