The Feelings That Keep Coming Back
What they really want from you.
We all have moments that keep circling back. Memories. Conversations. Situations that replay in our heads, sometimes for years.
They’re rarely random.
They’re trailheads. Doorways. Invitations.
If you pay attention, you’ll see they all have one thing in common: a part of you is trying to get your attention.
The Two Parts Inside You
When you look inside, you’ll see two parts of yourself.
There’s the Adult Self — the part that lives in the present, makes decisions, and tries to run your life now.
And there’s the Kid Self — the part of you that was shaped in your first 13 years of life. Back then, you were just trying to figure out who you were and how to belong. You watched how your parents treated you. You studied how they treated each other. You learned what to expect from relationships, and what to expect from yourself.
Some needs got met. Others didn’t.
And when needs go unmet, they don’t just vanish. They get buried under beliefs like:
I’m not good enough.
I don’t deserve good things.
I’ll never have my needs met.
These beliefs helped you survive back then. But now, as an adult, they get in the way.
Why These Feelings Keep Showing Up
Every time you tell yourself a story about not being enough or not deserving, you develop coping strategies: self-sabotage, people-pleasing, playing small.
And life keeps putting you in situations that trigger those same feelings. Not to punish you. But to give you another shot at hearing them.
Think of each moment as your Kid Self saying:
"Hey… can we talk? I’m still here."
The Language of Feelings
Your Kid Self doesn’t speak in logic or bullet points. They speak in feelings.
And most of us… aren’t fluent.
That’s why I have clients use a feelings chart — you can Google one, or try the free app How We Feel, or get my charts here. It breaks emotions into clear categories so you can actually name what’s happening inside you.
Why does naming matter? Because until you can name it, you can’t work with it. And when you can name it, something shifts. That part of you feels heard. Understood. Safe enough to share more.
A Quick Story
A client once told me about standing in line at the supermarket and suddenly feeling furious. On the surface, it made no sense.
We dug deeper using a feelings chart. Alongside anger, she found resentment, helplessness, sadness, and more. That mix of feelings matched experiences from her childhood, times she’d been ignored, times her needs were dismissed.
The supermarket line wasn’t about groceries at all. It was a doorway back to those moments. And naming the feelings let her finally start meeting the needs that had been waiting all along.
The Work
You don’t have to spend hours in deep reflection. Start small:
10 seconds a day. Look at a feelings chart and name what you’re feeling.
Notice patterns. When a strong reaction feels bigger than the situation, ask: Where have I felt this before?
Find the unmet need. Every uncomfortable feeling points to one.
Do this, and the repeating moments stop being random. They become road signs to your own healing.
Why This Matters
Unresolved moments will keep circling back until you get the message. Once you do, the situation loses its grip.
It’s like a package delivery. Until you sign for it, the driver keeps coming back. Once you open it, they stop knocking.
The moment delivers its message.
The pattern shifts.
The projection changes.
And life starts to look different — because you’ve changed inside.
Once you start hearing your feelings — really hearing them — you realize you don’t have to do this work alone.
Having a space where you can name what’s going on in the moment, get real-time feedback, and feel supported while you experiment with new ways of responding… that’s where change starts to stick.
That’s exactly why I created the $1/Day Emotional Support Coaching Group — a daily space to work through these patterns together.
📌 $1/Day Emotional Support Coaching Group
An 8-week online coaching group on Telegram (with options to continue) led by Zalman Nelson, LCSW — longtime online therapist and relationships expert.
You’ll get:
Daily bite-sized tools & insights to handle triggers, improve relationships, and make better decisions
Direct interaction and feedback from me so you’re never left guessing
Supportive group discussions with people on the same journey
Weekly live Zoom Q&A to go deeper into your questions
Designed for people who want real emotional progress but don’t have the time or budget for therapy sessions or intensive coaching.
Small, consistent steps build into huge emotional shifts, powerful insights, and lasting transformation — without doing it alone.
📅 Starts September 10 or as soon as 10 spots are filled.
💵 $31/month — that’s just $1/day.
🙏🙏