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  • Writer's picture Zalman Nelson - Therapist

Relationship Insights: 5 Must-Ask Questions Before Your First Date


There are five essential questions that I believe you should explore when getting to know someone before going on a first date. These questions provide revealing and valuable insights, serving as practical tools to help you quickly gather information and avoid uncomfortable or bad experiences.


I genuinely appreciate these five questions. While I won't insist that you must ask all five, I aim to empower you with tools and approaches that offer the best chance of understanding a person before that crucial first date. Understanding people relies on discerning information they willingly share, allowing you to build a baseline of their typical responses. Here are the five questions: Hobbies, Family, Addictions, Pets, and Friends. Let's explore them.


Hobbies: In the initial stages of connecting with someone, inquire about their hobbies. This question not only helps you learn about their interests but also reveals whether they have individual pursuits or if they might see you as their primary focus.


Family: Understanding a person's relationship with their parents or family provides insights into their ability to maintain positive intimate connections. You can subtly incorporate this question into conversations about family traditions, proximity to parents, or their relationship dynamics.


Addictions: While challenging, asking about potential addictive behaviors is crucial. Phrasing the question creatively, such as inquiring about activities they spend too much time on, can provide valuable insights into their habits.


Pets: A straightforward question about whether they have pets can offer insights into a person's lifestyle and responsibilities. How they respond to this simple query can reveal aspects of their personality.


Friends: Inquiring about their friendships can illuminate a person's social dynamics. Lack of friends or difficulty maintaining relationships might be indicative of underlying challenges.


These questions, when asked in creative and engaging ways, can serve as valuable tools for pre-dating vetting. Remember, it's about building a database of information, filtering, and vetting as you go through various stages of getting to know someone. Practice these questions with friends and colleagues to refine your approach. Have fun with them, and may your dating journey be filled with positive connections.


If you found this helpful, subscribe to the YouTube channel for more dating practical dating insights. Set up a consultation to see if therapy can help you achieve your dating and relationship goals.

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