Zalman Nelson - Therapist
Are You Making Assumptions?
Updated: May 22, 2022
It happens often in life that we don't understand why someone is or isn't doing something. We see and collect the facts and evidence, but it doesn't add up. It's not making sense.
It's then that we often make assumptions. Why? To help us handle the lack of control over the situation and the lack of knowledge about why things are going as they are.
Here's what often happens next, at some point: we find out new information that changes things; the missing piece we didn't have before that now makes it all make sense.
The process repeats itself a lot, but it shouldn't. After all, we've seen it many times before. Why fall for it again?
The problem is that we don't take a moment to realize this process happened and is happening.
Understandable: a lot of time can pass by between the original assumption and the arrival of the missing piece.
So, from now on, let's start reflecting, pausing to contemplate the cycles and processes in which we swim. Such experiences help us learn and remember how to handle it next time.
In future situations, when we find ourselves in a position with a person where the facts don't all add up...hold off on judging or pushing, or forming an opinion...practice patience...do what you can to discover the missing piece...or calmly await its arrival.